Bickman's Sulu Rant

"You don't want to be fired upon...do you?"

"If you do not back off this nerd will die!"

"I ruled the Khmer Rouge and now I will rule the world!"

"Send this child back to the kitchen! He is not cooked to my liking!"

"No officer, my friend is not drunk...he's just a little tuckered out"

"This shirt is part of my cabana collection, now available on HSN"

"I fucked these two bitches in the back of my Hyundai last night"

"I want to say one more thing before I go...Fuck William Shatner!!!!"

"This is a shot from the Sulu Family Reunion of 2324"

"Hello. I'm George Takei, Captain Sulu of the Starship Exelsior. I am illiterate and request your assistance in reading this newspaper"

"All you Star Trek motherfucking fans can go kiss my ass. hahahahahaha"

"Back nerds!!! BACK!!!!!!! Or I will be forced to act out MacBeth!"

"I'm not your best friend goddamnitt! Now what's your fucking name, bitch?!"

"Captain's log: I think I may have acquired Herpes from one of these two whores. But which one?"

NickL:

"No I don't liked to get fucked in the ass. But...Do you?"



(why does George look happier to be taking a photo with the guy instead of the other way around?)

"Coming to a discount book store near you!"

"Do you like men who sweat a lot and expose their chiseled abs and chest? Well...Do you?"

Yella:

why?

"Yes...my shirt is made of flammable material....Next?"

"I'm not wearing any underwear and while I talk to you I am stroking my humongoid cock!"

Jiggawoman:

High Voltage:

Luckyluc:

Second greatest moment in Takei history next to his appearance on Twilight Zone..

Dr. Worm:

Rap Damage:

Post The Simpsons pic.

Biggoofysmartass:

Aftershock:

"Hi. I'm George Takei, Sulu from Star Trek. Today I'd like to talk to you about Amway."

Biggooofysmartass:

Freddie:

QUOTE (Bhickman @ Dec 2 2003, 12:00 PM)

"Hi. I'm George Takei, Sulu from Star Trek. Today I'd like to talk to you about Amway."

God Damn! That one made coffee come out my nose! Really, it hurts. I hate you and your leather pants, too.

"Be cool large man, I am only slipping my room key into your back pocket.
Be there at 4:12 PM. Sharp!"

"Young man, in addition to the free copy of my new book, I am also giving away free handjobs in this fine bookseller's men's lavatory. Care to join me?"

Freddie:

QUOTE (Bhickman @ Dec 2 2003, 02:08 PM)

"Young man, in addition to the free copy of my new book, I am also giving away free handjobs in this fine bookseller's men's lavatory. Care to join me?"

"Thank you for posing with me kind sir. I haven't had my picture taken all day and I was feeling a bit down, don't you know."

"I swear your honor that those seven dildos were never meant to find their way into that ladies' asshole. It was just a dildo centerpiece I was working on and she sat on it!"

"And now we've come to the point on our show where we eat our guest family of the week."

"My hand is so cramped I shant be able to jack off my stable boys!"

"I call this my blue steel."

"You like what you see?"

"Men with kilts fuck better than those in dungarees."

"I fucking told you for the last time Shatner! Now I'm coming for your balls!!!"

"Between you and me, sailor boy, I'm a rear admiral."

"Why can't you fuckers just die already?"

"You have the right to remain.....HOT!!!!"

"Aren't you hot? I'm experiencing the vapors. How long until my pedicure is done?"

"You can run Bill, but you can't hide!!!!"

"I've got a boner the size of Texas just imagining how spectacular I look in this uniform!!!"

"Yes! This is my stable boy Wayne. Isn't he fabulous? Say hello Wayne."

QUOTE (RogerMexico @ Dec 2 2003, 04:23 PM)

QUOTE (Freddie Freelance @ Dec 2 2003, 02:39 PM) I now hear George Takai reading all of Mr. Hickman's posts, does anyone else? ::Intones in sonorous voice:: "Zwan rules, bitch."

"I hope there is no one around to notice that I just farted."

"This is Captain Sulu and the rest of the Starship Excelsior's crew inviting you to the grand opening of the new Olive Garden restaurant in Poughkeepsie.
Olive Garden...when you're here, you're family."

"If Kirk thinks I'm gonna eat horse testicles for dinner again, he is dead fucking wrong."

"People please! Back up a bit. You will all get a chance to touch me once you've paid the $100 entrance fee."

Dr. Worm:

My most fond memory of Mr. Brett Hickman.

BBQ:

QUOTE (Bhickman @ Dec 2 2003, 09:04 AM)

"I'm not your best friend goddamnitt! Now what's your fucking name, bitch?!"

Look, is that Bill Gates next to George?

This is like the best thread, EVER!

bobandbob:

i just discovered this thread thanks to the Thread Preservation Society thread.

i didn't read them all but i laughed at virtually every one i read and now i'm on a hiccupping jag that's been going on for five minutes.

absolutely hilarious.

Aftershock:

That post has made me realize the genius behind this thread.
Excellent work, Mr. H!

Shut up and go fix your hair.

some girl:

another scary thread.

maybe hickman just got laid and is feeling euphoric?

you guys are really killing the fantasy that you're all moody, good- looking musicheads.

jiggawoman is funny.

nonphenomenal: